Some women have genuinely made mistakes, while others are just ‘fools for love’, it’s quite difficult to specifically categorize what group a lady/woman
belongs to at any particular point in time. However, there are few litmus test result, that could make any wise man, know if you are:
(1) a genuine novice
(2) a fool for love ,
(3) stubborn and unwilling to learn woman.
There are many women soaking their pillows with tears daily, some have become depressed, frustrated, disillusioned about life. Some women had accused men, in-laws, money, or the lack of it, education, promotion and the lack of them as their excuses for finding themselves in a bad Relationship or Marriage.
But no woman had ever thought objectively, about the mental status and manners or level of maturity of most of these men.
I believe until the truth is told the situation may continue, but if we face the bull and deal with it, I believe this will go along way in helping women facing
many situations that could have been avoided naturally.
Every woman have the sole responsibility of ensuring that they are dealing with a ‘man’ instead of a ‘boy’. There are many 60 years old males, who
you may ‘assume’ are men because of their age, because they are rich, or educated, handsome, tall, muscular and so on, that doesn’t automatically
qualifies him to be a man. Until a woman, is able to convince herself personally that she was able to differentiate between a boy or man, she should
not go ahead and marry such a person. In fairness, I understand that some men are pretenders, so I will deal with that situation also.
Where the ‘men’ become very deceitful, are there ways on knowing or dealing with such?
The easiest way for woman to appreciate what I am explaining is to study the nature and lifestyle of children around you , making sure you understand it, and you can do a justified comparative analysis
| Boys’ Character | Mens’ character | What Women should watch out for |
| Children Lie to get | If your man lies deliberately, consistently and continually, if you feel you cannot trust him, don’t wave your instinct, you may be right. | You need to think |
| Always wanting to have
his way |
If your man is always thinking of having his ways, or ‘my ways are always right’ kind of situation. What you say does not make sense to him | This is a statement |
| Self Centredness | If your man is all about himself. He praises himself, cares & love himself, concerns about his own happiness, honors himself alone and sometime worship his ego | Big problem |
| Not Content with his own | If your man is always talking about other families/ladies, comparing you with them, prefers staying with them,appreciating them, loves their ways of dressing, food, etc | This is a statement |
| Always insecure | If you find a man who is not secured about your progress, who is afraid that you might do better than him, who doesn’t acknowledge your potentials publicly. | You better watch |
| Innocently trusting everybody | If your man is comfortable with trusting outsiders more than you, if he feels more secured with other ladies than you | It’s a statement |
| They are not good
planners, they are short sited |
If your man is planing for the family, without bringing you into it, or planing with some people outside your family without carrying you along, or if he cannot discuss with you. | You must wake up |
| Always going out, looking
for friends |
If your man spends more time with other people more than yourself, if he prefers to spend more time outside outside the house with other people than time spent at home | You know the answer already |
| They can say sorry or i
love you mum, without meaning it |
If your man says ‘sorry’/ ‘i love you’, but his words doesn’t back up with his actions. | You know the answers already |
Unfortunately, this is just a guide or a template to help you make informed decisions, however the actual decision will have to be from you.
The truth is, until women are able to be genuinely objective and truthful to themselves, they will continue to be messed about by ‘boys pretending to be men’.
Most women are fighting marital war as if they were in the Gaza strip, some came into the marriage with good health but now suffer from high blood
pressure and depression, some came in into the marriage whole, but today physical abuse had changed their configurations.
(When I come to the topic- Handling Abuse in marriages, you will understand how emotionally, mentally and psychologically damaged some women have found themselves, why?!.
This situation can be handled or managed properly, if we use the ‘right tools’.